Music to Motivate

Photo credit: Apple

'How are you doing all that? What time are you getting up?' That was one of my close friend's reaction to my new 30 Days to 30 morning routine. On the grand scale, I've got a big looming birthday to motivate me, but feeling inspired each day is more difficult to maintain (particularly if you're not a morning person).

That's when I find music helps... music for my feet, I called it as a kid. It's not just me. Studies have shown that music can motivate you to exercise and disassociate from feelings of fatigue. In fact, picking out your motivational playlist with friends can be fun too (creating a career motivational playlist was part of a great live career coaching session in CareerHMO).

Inspiration is best sought all over and in great quantity, I find. On that note, I'll share with you my current playlist of favorite tunes to get moving and feeling good and I hope you'll share a favorite of yours with me in the comments.


Song ― Artist

• Be OK ― Ingrid Michaelson
• Keep Your Head Up ― Andy Grammer
• Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) ― Kelly Clarkson
• Part of Me ― Katy Perry
• Stereo Hearts (feat. Adam Levine) ― Gym Class Heroes
• Moves Like Jagger ― Maroon 5
• Tonight Tonight ― Hot Chelle Rae
• I Gotta Feeling ― Black Eyed Peas
• Drive By ― Train 
• Lights ― Ellie Goulding
• Glad You Came ― The Wanted
  
• Brighter Than The Sun ― Colbie Caillat
• Forget You ― Cee Lo Green (I love the version sung by Gwyneth on Glee)
• Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People (My apologies to my dear retired boss Ed who is not a fan of this song as it's about stealing shoes. Shoe thievery is wrong, and this beat is all right.)
• Raise Your Glass ― Pink
• Waiting On the World to Change ― John Mayer
• Good Day ― Jewel
• New Shoes ― Paolo Nutini
• Suddenly I See ― KT Tunstall
• Dog Days Are Over ― Florence + The Machine
• Just Dance ― Lady GaGa
• Video ― India.Arie
• Say Hey (I Love You) ― Michael Franti & Spearhead
• Smile ― Uncle Kracker
• Dream Big ― Ryan Shupe & The Rubberbands

Nosy Parker reader favorites/suggestions welcome in the comments!  

30 Days to 30

I'm turning 30 next month ― and though I'm not where I want to be, or doing what I thought I'd be doing by now ― I'm actually quite excited. I intend to relish the decade as it will certainly be my best to date, turning-30 advice echoed by (fellow blogger and friend) Penelope Trunk. My 20s were not "all that" (think economy crash, the dirty "U" word, and workplace bullying) and I wasn't wild about high school either (it was a rough ride). Don't get me wrong; my twenties weren't all bad... highlights at USC, in San Francisco and with my beloved dog, but I'm ready to leave my 20s behind. In my 30s, I hope to finally feel like my age. After all, my grandmother used to tease my mother that she'd hidden me under a table for 30 years (I was an odd kid), and in fact, I always felt older than my years.

Google "Turning 30" and you'll find a wide array of advice, bucket lists and freak-out blog posts. Among the most interesting... an insightful turning-30 post with social media business lessons from Caitlin McCabe, a list of 30 skills every woman should have before turning 30 from an editor at theFrisky.com (phew, I can check off each one!), and Glamour's advice for facing society's 30-equals-old cliche with a shot to celebrate (advice I intend to take). 

In many ways, I'm looking forward to my 30s. I also recognize that change is harder to make as a person ages. In that vein, I considered the bad habits I wanted to replace with better ones before I hit the big 3-0. I envisioned the best version of myself, the person I want to be, and how to live more in alignment. I want to be the kind of person who eats breakfast every day (even if I do pull a Michelle Williams and drink my breakfast smoothie in the shower to save time), who works out and stretches every day, who maintains excellent personal habits, who keeps in regular touch with friends, blogs regularly and writes in a gratitude journal, among other things.

Some swear by the '21 Day Habit Theory' (i.e. it takes 21 days to effectively form a new habit), but I thought I'd round up. Since I'm turning 30, 30 days seemed only appropriate. As is my style, I made a 30 Days to 30 graphic chart to encourage and remind myself of my daily aspirations. I've got one for my morning routine (which I've been managing in the 95-100% gold star range) and one for other daily and bedtime activities (where it's been WAY harder to earn gold stars while juggling the rest of life, I admit). I'm sharing both graphic charts with you below.

30 Days to 30 (AM graphic chart)

30 Days to 30 (PM graphic chart)

So far, I'm doing really well on my 30 Days to 30. Ultimately, this graphic chart isn't about beating myself up about one more thing; it's about giving myself the best thirtieth birthday gift ― the happiest, healthiest and best version of myself. It's about finding my way and being kind to myself along the journey. I won't stress about being perfect, but about striving toward the light.

My 30s will be the decade when I get married and have kids, events I look forward to when the time and man are right. Sadly I've just learned my 30s are also likely the decade in which I'll lose my mom to her battle with a rare brain cancer, a thought which breaks my heart and fills me with anguish (we've always been close and I've been caring for her for most of the last year). Suddenly I get why the American Cancer Society's new slogan is the Official Sponsor of Birthdays. I would give anything to have more birthdays with my mom ― and for her to get to be a mother-of-the-bride and a grandmother. Rather than dwell on curtailed dreams, I'm going to focus on spending quality time together. That's certainly shot-worthy celebration ― L'Chaim! (A Glamour Do at 30!)

Now I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. Or, as my mom likes, trust in G-d, but tie your camel.


Curious who else is turning 30 this year? 
Celebs born in 1982 (Year of the Dog, Reagan was president, E.T. topped box office charts and Michael Jackson's Thriller was released) include Jessica Biel, Colbie Smulders (from How I Met Your Mother ― LOVE that show!!!), Seth Rogen, Kirsten Dunst,  Jewel, Anna Paquin, Whitney Cummings, Anne Hathaway and a couple of the guys from Glee (and of course plenty more).

To put the turning-30 life timeline in perspective, we graduated from high school in 2000 ― when the dot com bubble burst. Facebook debuted on the large college campuses we attended, effectively making us social media experts.

Cheers to 30 in 2012.

What were your 30s like? Any advice? Please share your turning 30 tips (or just cheer me on) in the comments below!

The Big Role Reversal

Mama and Me

As a good Jewish daughter, I knew that one day I would care for my mom. But we didn't expect that day to come for another 15 to 20 years (figuring by then I'd move her into an in-law unit with her own nurse wherever I lived with my future husband and children... ahhh dreams).

That all changed when we got her diagnosis last Spring and I became the single parent for my single parent. I had just reluctantly moved home out of financial necessity and it was quickly clear that it was meant to be. A mass residing in a quarter of her brain was so shocking a diagnosis and the side effects so crippling, my mom needed immediate care. At first doctors told us it was almost positively a benign tumor. Perhaps this was best to get us through the surgery. Luckily, my mom was in the best health of her life pre-surgery. A feisty tongue and a passion for Venice, Italy propelled her healing.

So... Dude, WTF?

Just as she was bouncing back from the surgery, came the bad news... the pathology results. It wasn't benign. Anaplastic Hemingiopericytoma ― a rare brain cancer. Little is known about it, which is perhaps why the doctors wouldn't admit it was cancer at first. (It's not that we wanted it to be cancer; an honest diagnosis was needed not only for trust in the doctors, but also to receive cancer support and services.) My mother was a real trooper through six weeks of daily radiation treatments. One of her biggest peeves is not being able to drive for most of the last year. The cumulative effects of the radiation persisted for many months, but my mom was just starting to feel better.

We were going to see a new oncologist (aka cancer doctor) to try to get some straightforward answers when she started acting funny. It was a nightmare trying to convince the doctors something was wrong. It turned out to be a small ischemic stroke next to where the tumor was removed and it caused seizure disorder and hallucinations. For several very long days, I wondered if my mom would ever come back to me. I am thankful for the support and prayers of our friends and family who receive our online caring community updates (we use LotsaHelpingHands.com). My strong-willed, sweet little Jewish mother came through and we now talk about when she woke up ― her brain frantically trying to piece together reality with lingering and remembered hallucinations. I'm just glad she recognizes me again.

Mama and Me at the end of a relaxing vacation a few years ago

Healing is a slow process; something we must continually remind ourselves. My mom is considerably better than she was in the hospital, but she still needs a lot of home care. So we are once again forging the big role reversal. It is not an easy job physically or emotionally, but there's no question of caring for my mother. We've always been close. She raised me as a single mother back when single parenting was lacking in couth. We've conquered great challenges and enjoyed wonderful adventures together with all the inside jokes and finished sentences to remember. And now I am more than just her daughter; I am my mother's caregiver, her patient advocate and care coordinator. And I look forward to the role reversal dance continuing on to more joyful adventures.

Rescue Dog Has Healing Powers

Happy Birthday Abby!

Two years ago this New Year's, I adopted a Boston Bull Terrier (perhaps some Pug?) dog from Wonder Dog Rescue in San Francisco. We met on a sunny afternoon in the Mission District. Her tongue perpetually hung out to the side and we simply took to each other immediately. She's been my constant sidekick ever since. A fellow Nosy Parker, my little shadow is a constant source of love and laughs. The saying 'who rescued whom?' doesn't begin to cover it.

I named her Abby after my favorite TV character: world-class forensic scientist Abby Sciuto of NCIS, played by Pauley Perette. I love the uprise of girl geeks on TV!

My Abby has plenty of nicknames, the most common of which is Piglet, inspired by her frequent pig-like snorts and waddles. Abby has a lot of personality, some perhaps we just attribute to her. But a more cuddly, love-distributing, healing dog there is not. Though many Boston Terriers are hyperactive, Abby exudes a surprising calmness, even in her happiness to find new laps to cuddle and blankets to burrow. She is most eager to settle in for a warm cuddle. (I'd wanted to get a dog for a long time, having never stopped missing Emma, the Bordeaux Mastiff we rescued when I was a teen and who died while I was studying abroad. I knew a big dog was not feasible for apartment living so I researched various breeds and decided a Boston was for me. A friend put me in touch with Wonder Dog Rescue who matched me with Abby.) When I adopted Abby, I was between jobs and feeling down. Progressively, life has gotten exponentially more difficult since then and I attribute my actual survival to this sweet dog. I hesitate to admit there were days when Abby was my only motivation to keep going, the only source of light or laughter in my days. She was my rock in the hospital waiting room during my mom's 7-hour brain surgery. I was a mess. But when Abby curls up into my lap, I can feel my breathing slow and my mind ease.

Abby's healing powers far exceed her love and loyalty to me; she took her role of comforter and healer to my mom, Jude, very seriously. The moment we were settled in her post-surgery ICU room, Abby placed herself on the bed and cuddled up against Jude who floated in and out of the room on heavy painkillers. Abby wouldn’t voluntarily leave Jude’s side ― even for walks or food. Abby's warmth and radiating love grounded Jude in her post-surgery haze and sped her healing. She also made Jude one of the most popular patients on the floor! In more tangible healing feats, Abby helped Jude lower her blood pressure before a stressful follow-up with the cancer doctor. Abby has kept our spirits up during the long months of recovery. She is still the funniest part of our days.

Not only does Abby have these amazing healing powers, but her love of people, good manners (doesn't bark, bite or chew!) and small size make her very portable. Abby comes to work with me each day; she's become the office greeter. It's amazing the stress reduction a dog's presence in the office provides ― studies back it up, showing a "positive impact on workplace morale, productivity and collaboration." There are even books on how to create dog-friendly workplaces. During a down economy, bringing your dog to work is a great perk for which to negotiate that doesn't cost the company any money. (This was one of the many great career lessons I learned from Career Guru J.T. O'Donnell’s Career HMO.)

Pre-Abby, I was quite against clothing for dogs, thinking it mostly silly. But I quickly learned from Abby's vet that some dogs need assistance keeping warm. To curb sweet Abby’s shivering, she now sports a couple fashionable pink options for warmth (her favorite being her pink hoodie)! Worries that Abby wouldn't like clothing were fast put aside when she tried to crawl back into her sweater one morning. Luckily, I love craft projects! For Halloween, Abby sported a homemade piglet costume from scraps of pink fleece. I also made her a new collar for her birthday (pictured above).

Next up for the Lil' Nosy Parker? Posting about our craft projects!

It's mmmmm...Monday "The Perfect Salad"

 

The Perfect Pear & Gorgonzola Salad

Prep Time: 5-10 minutes

This spectacular salad is a gold medal favorite in our house featuring fresh juicy pears, candied pecans, crumbled Gorgonzola and raspberry vinaigrette on a bed of fresh greens. The original ― and still by far the favorite ― is from the Crow's Nest in Santa Cruz, where the upstairs Breakwater Bar & Grill offers the salad as an entree with grilled skirt steak! We make constant re-creations of this meal-sized salad in our house and frequently bring friends to experience the original. Here's how you can make this yummy salad at home too...

Ingredients:

• Mixed greens
• Fresh pears, sliced
• Candied pecans
• Crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
• Raspberry vinaigrette
• Grilled skirt steak or chicken (optional)

Preparation Instructions:

1. Prepare a bed of mixed greens. 
2. Top with a medley of pears, pecans and Gorgonzola. 
3. Drizzle with raspberry vinaigrette.
4. Enjoy!