The Dirty "U" Word

What? You've never heard of the dirty "U" word? It's unemployed. If you are between jobs right now ― as so many Americans are ― stop hurting yourself with the dirty "U" label. It has too many connotations and frankly it isn't even correct. You aren't unemployed. You are employed in the business of finding a new job. More than that, you are a business of one seeking clientèle: employers.

One of the best things you can do for yourself in 2012 is to join Career HMO, an online career coaching program with personalized advice from career experts that's guaranteed to cut time off your job search, run by CAREEREALISM Founder and Career Guru J.T. O'Donnell. No, this post is not sponsored by anyone. I joined this revolutionary program myself when I was between jobs and became an Ambassador for new members. Though this program is excellent for those between jobs, it is equally extraordinary for anyone seeking a satisfying career. Get a promotion, find a job, choose a career... get expert help on all of it.

This cutting edge program taught me more than I could ever fit into a single blog post. But as so many Americans will be resolving to find a better job in 2012, I thought I'd share a few of the top lessons I've learned from Career HMO:

Reframe Negative Self Talk
It's easy to feel ashamed of your employment status when it isn't all that you'd hoped. I was between jobs myself for an extended period; I know. Have courage. But most importantly, learn to rewrite your Negative Self Talk (NST). Start with a journal and write down all of your negative thoughts, your doubts, all of your NST. And REWRITE it. That's right. Stop and ask yourself: Where did I learn this? Is it really true or not? Rewrite it as truth. Write objectively and challenge your assumptions. That becomes your new mantra. Only then can you release those NST emotions and make peace with yourself. It's about being proactive and positive. Reframe the story as a learning experience. Stick to the facts. Keep it clean, simple and objective. What did you learn?
Recommended Reading: "Be The Hero" by Noah Blumenthal

Get Your Ducks in a Row
Be prepared with your Carer Toolkit: your Personal Brand Statement, Resume, Career Story, LinkedIn Profile, Interview Prep and so much more. Career HMO members can download the full checklist as well as read about each piece in the CAREEREALISM Guidebook. Best of all, you can hear straight from J.T. about the creation of each of these components in the program. Members can get step-by-step help from experts and receive a personal assessment of their career toolkit.


Don't Waste the Interviewer's Time
Prepare. Do your homework. Be able to give examples demonstrating you are ready to work for them and why. Define how they've impressed you and what value you would bring to their team. Give specific examples. Understand the value of telling a story that connects with them.


Interview the Interviewer (Nicely, of course!)
Once they're done interviewing you, then comes your turn to interview your potential employer. Ask the right questions when you're interviewing. I've learned that the work can be learned, but developing relationships with others is key. When it's my turn to ask questions of the interview, I now ask: What kind of person thrives here? What do you think this companies flaws are? How did you get your job? What's been your greatest challenge?

Recognize that every job is temporary
Americans are now predicted to change careers seven times in a lifetime. Changing careers might seems like a huge step. How does one decide on which career next? Talking to people who are in those careers might provide insight. Complete the Career Matrix in the Guidebook. Do some research and find two people per career with whom to have an informational interview. People love to talk about themselves. Ask the person if you can bring them a coffee and hear their story of how they chose this path. Explain that you're trying to determine which of a few careers will best utilize your unique skill set.

A Community of Support
One of the most important and intangible things I gleaned from Career HMO was the community of support. During live sessions, the members supported each other as professionals, friends and cheerleaders. Members participate in a private, live chat with each other, J.T. and other career experts. Celebrating successful interviews, creating inspirational playlists, networking with each other, admitting difficult days and the desire to hide, brainstorming new side businesses, learning new techniques to improve every aspect of your career, discussing the latest TED Talk or industry news, making friends and having a laugh... all happening inside Career HMO.

Apple Cupcake Tree Shows Teachers the ♥

More than 130 local teachers turned out for the End of Year Celebration last May, filling the garden patio at Jalisco’s Restaurant in Watsonville for a record turnout. This year's celebration had a few extra special perks to show teachers the ♥, including the DIY Easy & Inexpensive Cupcake Stand I created loaded down with cupcakes resembling apples.


“The party was a HIT!” said Mamiche Young, a kindergarten teacher. “We teachers from Freedom had a ball!”

Highlights of the evening also included exciting new menu items like mini ceviche, scintillating refreshments, retired teacher appearances, a beautiful Mariachi dance performance, and a Teacher Appreciation Raffle with more than 50 generous prizes donated by local businesses supporting unionized teachers.

“The prizes were great because they showed a real connection with the community,” said Rhea DeHart, retired PVUSD educator and former PVFT President. “It was the best party we’ve ever had!”

Filled with sand from local beach

Warm summer temperatures and a Mexican beach theme helped everyone relax and celebrate the close of another school year.

Decor (mostly donated or crafted) included exquisite shells in painted turquoise bowls of sand adorning each table while colorful, delicately cut papel-picado (paper cutout) streamers flitted gently in the wind.

The homemade chocolate volcano bottom cupcakes were especially popular and luckily we had just enough! The trick behind these yummy creations was easy ― just adding a few basic ingredients to a mix to spice it up. I like to try out different substitutions. This time I added vanilla extract and quality chocolate chips. I also substituted part of the oil for melted butter.

Completed tree ready for cupcakes!

For the lifts between the levels, I got thick plastic piping cut into pieces and wrapped it with chocolate brown satin ribbon secured with hot glue. The final pieces were then hot-glued into place.

A huge thank you those who helped frost and decorate the cupcakes with me on that Friday long ago last May. Please accept my apologies for the delay in posting the final product.

It's mmmmm...Monday "Elegant Salmon Mignons"

Elegant Salmon Mignons

Prep Time: 15 minutes, Cook Time: 15 minutes, Serves 2-3

Salmon is a favorite in our house. We love to test out new recipes to enhance the fresh salmon flavor. The uniform thickness of these pinwheels makes  broiling super easy and the pinwheel allows the seasoning to saturate the fish. Good balsamic (Bariani's Balsamic Vinegar is my local favorite) makes all the difference.


Ingredients

• Generous sprinkling (4-5 Tablespoons) good balsamic vinegar
• 1-2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 pound skinless salmon fillet, cut into six ¾-inch strips
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Lemon slices
• Olive oil

Cooking Instructions

1. Preheat the oven's broiler to 500 degrees; set the oven rack about 6 inches from the heat source. 
2. Combine the balsamic vinegar and the garlic in a small bowl; reserve. 
3. Sprinkle the salmon with kosher salt. Roll the salmon strips, beginning on the thickest side, into 6 pinwheels. Secure with wooden skewers.
4. Coat the pan in olive oil and drizzle oil over the fish and let it saturate. Drizzle the balsamic and garlic mixture generously over each pinwheel. Place fresh lemon slice on top of each pinwheel.
5. Place salmon under hot broiler and cook for 7 minutes. Turn pinwheels over and replace lemon slices; cook until edges are brown and fish is easily flaked with a fork, about an additional 7 minutes. 
6. Sprinkle with pepper before serving and enjoy! Reviews in our house? It was pronounced "delightful!"

Round out the meal: Serve with your choice of green vegetable steamed or stir fried. Zucchini pairs well with the salmon.


Wine recommendation: Serve with chilled white wine (Pinot Grigio makes an excellent pairing).


It's mmmmm...Monday is a new Nosy Parker Blog weekly feature where I'll share with you a favorite recipe or a new kitchen experiment!


Adapted from Broiled Salmon Mignon recipe by ZELDA3333 on allRecipes.com

We're Back!

After some technical difficulties, www.gabrianamarks.com is back!

Please accept my apologies if you've been looking for my site in the last weeks. It's back and I'll continue to update it with my portfolio, bucket list and more.

An Unsteady Upwardish Path

Perhaps you've wondered what happened to me. I know some of my friends have. I've been busy surviving.

I had a lot of plans. As did my mom. But in the first days of June, we got a shock. Doctors found a mass in her brain.

First there was the brain tumor and the surgery to remove it. Then the diagnosis: Anaplastic Hemangiopericytoma, an extremely rare brain cancer about which little is published. Recovery from the 7-hour brain surgery was not yet complete before six weeks of daily radiation therapy treatments began. It's been a rough 2011 in our house.

We have a great community of family friends and we use a LotsaHelpingHands site to communicate. Family is far,  the relationship complicated and the support minimal. A single mom and an only child, we've always made a great team. Mostly I miss my own friends, many of whom live in SF (~90 miles away) or LA (~350 miles). Few friends have made the trek to visit; communications are stalled. In truth, I've avoided the minefield. I don't really want to talk about the brain cancer battle rocking our house or my job outside of my passion. After all, if you don't have anything good to say, you should say nothing at all, right? I can't stand to hear any more advice on how I should be better taking care of myself, my mother, her house, my dog... you get the point. People mean well, I know, but we've got things under control in our own way.

My mom is focusing on her goal of moving to Venice, Italy (and establishing a Gertrude Stein-like salon for local and traveling reform Jews and artists) — a goal which keeps her motivated but stirs restless impatience. Though moving to Italy (ideally as a destination wedding planner or a writer) is a dream of mine as well, I'm focusing on the shorter term for now, sticking with my trice annual assessments and goals. Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year in September). New Year's Eve. And My Birthday.

Make plans, G-d laughs. Too true. Well I've made fewer plans this year, just taking each day one at a time (a phrase that's always bugged me... as if I could possibly take more than one at once). Perhaps the trick is to somehow worry less about the next one. In any case, life has been difficult enough without adding more responsibility. More days than not have been a struggle. Yet, I could not let the Jewish New Year go by without consideration.

Driven by a recognition that I needed to take better care of myself, I began a new exercise routine around Rosh Hashana. It's only 25 minutes long, but it's an intense workout. I can't say I quite enjoy exercise, but my body is finally craving it. The scale and I haven't been friends for a while so I can't tell you exactly how much I've lost, but I can tell you that none of the pants I'd been wearing fit anymore. I finally broke down and made the dreaded trip to buy new jeans. Armed with the knowledge of exactly what flatters my figure and the help of a savvy and fashionable store clerk, I found jeans I love that fit me perfectly — and they're 3 sizes smaller than my old ones! There's more to go, but I already feel stronger, leaner and more fit. I'm determined to make exercise a solid habit before turning 30 next April, in the hopes that it'll stick for life.

Sometimes taking care of oneself is in the little things... a playlist to pick you up in the mornings, a walk with the dog, a lovely relaxing bubble bath, a good laugh with a friend. It's funny how easy it is to forget to take care of yourself when you're busy being a caretaker (I'm sure this is a 'duh' for most moms, but I'm not a mom yet... rather a 20-something solo caretaker for a parent).

Fortunately my mom's latest scans showed the radiation significantly shrunk the remaining brain cancer cells and it has not regrown or spread yet. This, of course, is great news with a pause on the yet. The trick is to focus on the great news — not the yet.

As the New Year approaches and I strive to focus on the great in each day, I'm once again thinking of my goals. How shall I improve my 2012? I've missed writing (editing, too). It used to be a big part of my everyday work and since then... well, since then, life has been a minefield. I'm considering making daily writing my new goal, but it may prove too much to maintain. Ultimately, my new goal is to think happy and be happy, not be afraid. Once again seize life's opportunities and seek out happiness. This too is a solid habit I hope will stick for life.

I'm pleased to report that seeking out happiness is exactly what we did this weekend on a wonderful, impromptu trip to Carmel-by-the-Sea.

Far From OK

So you might be wondering what happened to me... why my blog has been on hold. The thing is... I don’t know what to say. And frankly, this doesn’t happen to me often.

People keep asking (as the well-meaning tend to do in difficult times), 'How're you doing?' But do they really want to know? Or do they just want me to put a smile on it (I'm not a big fan of the inauthentic though sometimes effective 'fake it till you feel it' method)?

Because, the truth is (at the moment), I'm far from ok. I don't mean in a logistical way. That I've got covered. So ingrained and woven into my upbringing were lists, flow charts and other organizational tools that I think I could actually beautifully coordinate the implosion of my world.

But really, I'd have to say I'm feeling pretty far from ok.

I don’t know how to talk about what’s going on in my life without divulging too much or veering toward complaining.

Five weeks ago, my mother – my cute little Jewish mother with a passion for life and Venice, Italy – was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This was a huge shock to us since we thought she just had vertigo. We’re now about two weeks into recovery from a 7-hour craniotomy surgery.

Though it’s hard for her to see it, my mom is making huge progress. Some days are more difficult than others. The day we began to understand the pathology results was one of those days. We had been hoping benign results would buoy our spirits in these rough days. Instead of being a meningioma (90-95% of which are benign), it's an anaplastic hemingiopericytoma (an aggressive, rare tumor that falls between benign and malignant).

I know we will get through this as we’ve had incredible practice overcoming challenges already. My mom chose to be a single working mother long before it was popularized or even accepted. My mom was superwoman in heels with a list or chart for absolutely everything. She made sure I was never short on love from having only one parent (and so I celebrate her both on Mother’s and Father’s Day).

No matter the difficulty, we always bounced back. Even in high school, when every sh*t storm seemed to collide upon us… we were living in a motel room because our house was sliding off of a cliff due to the El Niño rains (ridiculously not covered by Fema) and my mom lost her job and I had an abusive boyfriend (my first and last, I’m proud to say)… we survived all that and more. Like our dear friend Joe M. says, we always land on our feet. Even then, I still managed to graduate high school near the top of my class and with a resume full of extra-curricular activities (something I thought would guarantee my path to a good career, which took some unexpected turns and bumps when media converged and the economy crashed).

Now it is time to focus on the joy in life, on gratitude and prayer. This seems easier said than done as I struggle to talk even to friends, a zombie masquerading as human. I resolve to focus on today, take time to express myself, find enjoyment in life and dream of Italian adventures to come.

DIY Easy & Inexpensive Cupcake Stand

Cupcakes have expanded beyond children’s parties and been gaining in popularity.

Part of the fun in these bite-sized treats is in the presentation. There’s no need to shell out a huge chunk of change for a fancy cupcake stand, just DIY!

This cupcake stand is for a Teacher Appreciation Celebration to mark the end of the school year. The cupcakes, which will look like red apples in a nod to teachers, will be nestled in a 6-tier cupcake stand designed to evoke the feeling of an apple tree.
(Here's a collection of gorgeous DIY Cupcake Stands I found online and used for inspiration!)

Here’s how to make the stand:

1. Purchase cake rounds for the number of tiers you want. I got 2 for each level (and 3 for the bottom) and hot-glued them together to increase stability. Make sure they're evenly lined up!
2. Next, I traced the rounds on green wrapping paper (2 for each size cake round). Cut these out and use rubber cement to glue them to the tops and bottoms of the rounds. (Using rubber cement will prevent the wrapping paper from wrinkling.)

   

   Step 2

3. I purchased green satin bulk ribbon (it’s way cheaper) and then hot-glued it around the circumference of the cake rounds to cover the ugly corrugated cardboard edges (see photo below of Cupcake Tree in Progress).
4. Cupcake tiers should be separated by a solid lift stable enough to hold up the ascending tiers and should be tall enough for a cupcake with frosting and décor to sit on each level (about 4"). I was searching everywhere for the perfect cylindrical tier lifts when a teacher who’ll be at the party offered for her shop class to take on the lifts as a project!

5. Next, I'll wrap the lifts in brown satin ribbon to look like a tree trunk and hot glue them between the tiered cake rounds.

6. Make sure all the glue has dried before you let any cupcakes near your stand!

I've included some photos of the project in progress. Please check back later this week for photos of the final steps and finished project!

Cupcake Tree in Progress  (Cups are placeholders)

Test Batch of Apple Cupcakes

The big End of Year Celebration where these cupcakes and stand will debut is this Friday. I'll be hosting a little Cupcake Camp to mass-produce the cupcakes the night before and I picked up a couple tips to make the process easier during my test batch:

1. I'll be using pretzel sticks instead of tootsie rolls for the apple stems. Tootsie rolls didn't hold up well and required additional work. Plus, the pretzel sticks will hold the box top off of the finished cupcakes to protect them from getting messed up.
2. I'll be dying the fondant green BEFORE making them into leaves. Painting individual leaves was nuts! I'll also use a leaf-shaped cookie cutter instead of the ridiculous mold I used that required leaves to be individually plucked out with a toothpick.
3. Plus, I got red foil cupcake liners so I can bake more than 12 or even 24 at a time and they'll look more apple-like!

The Cadbury Thief

Abby, the Cadbury Creme Egg Thief

Abby, my sweet-natured and sneaky Boston Pug, apparently thinks she's the new Cadbury bunny.

In the dead of the night last spring, Abby crept out of bed and stole the last of the Cadbury creme eggs (that's how I learned how high she could jump).

The forensics gave her away — in a manner wholly unbefitting her namesake, NCIS' world-class forensic scientist Abby Sciuto, my Abby left a trail of melted chocolate, squished creamy insides and torn foil wrapper all over the apartment.

Luckily, she only had an upset tummy and was back to her normal laziness the following day.

But this year, we just had to photograph Abby in her Cadbury bunny glory.

What's in a name?

I get asked about the origins of my name all the time. Seriously. Most people think it's Italian (which I think is great since I ♥ Italy). Actually, the story is even better: it was the creativity of an eight-year-old boy.

Living next door meant that Jeremiah, the son of my mother's best friend, was privy to the endless name discussions... Serena, Sabrina, Gabrielle, Arielle, Ariana, Jacinda... The list went on.

"Why don't you just name her Gabriana?" asked Jeremiah in exasperation, still wishing for a boy.

And, at once, everyone knew that was the name.

As a kid I was called by shorter versions, which I never much liked. (A best friend's grandmother was the only one to call me Gabi, may her memory be a blessing.) But when I turned 13 and had my Bat Mitzvah, I began using the full name.

I've found it's rare to meet another Gabriana (only once actually — her mother sought me out on the name connection and we became friends). I enjoy having a unique name, even if it means people get it wrong all the time. It's also a little too easy for blind dates to find me online.

All things considered, I love my name and am thankful for Jeremiah's early genius (he grew up to work with Jerry Bruckheimer), which allows me to get away with just using one name.



This special birthday (week) post is dedicated to Jeremiah, the baby-namer.

Happiness is a warm puppy

So it shall be written, so it shall be done

True confession: I did not go to a Passover seder last night. In typical Jewish fashion, I felt guilty about skipping this important annual ritual feast. But we did mark the night as different from all other nights.

Instead, my mother and I resurrected an old favorite tradition from when I was a kid. We watched The Ten Commandments, the story of the exodus from Egypt. The old school version, featuring the epic Charlton Heston, used to play on TV each year around this time and we would faithfully watch as part of our Passover observance. For weeks after, I'd often parrot the line made famous by Yul Brynner as Pharoah Ramses: "So it shall be written, so it shall be done." (What can I say? I was a strange kid.)

Since the 1956 version was not readily available on Netflix Instant, Redbox or Blockbuster, we went with the more updated Ten Commandments TV Miniseries. Though I'm not sure this was what G-d had in mind for how we celebrate the redemption of our people, the movie version proved to be excellently executed. The lessons were clear, the actors captured the tumultuous emotions and arguments with G-d and the miracles seemed supernatural yet somehow realistic at once.

When the almost-three-hour-long movie was over, we experienced a similar feeling to the one you get once you're done retelling the exodus story duing the Passover seder. At that moment, we decided to incorporate watching this version as one of the two seder nights going forward (Jews in Israel only have one seder, but in the diaspora we have two).

So it shall be written, so it shall be done.

Happy Spring

Favorite Finds: Banish Dry Skin

Spring may finally be here, but perhaps no one told your dry skin?

Well, you simply must try my new favorite lotion, which you put on while still in the shower! This amazing In Shower Body Lotion left my skin smooth, moisturized and fresh all day long without feeling too heavy or leaving any awful residue.

I hate to sound like an ad and I promise you that I have no connections to Olay, but this lotion even greatly minimized my (lifelong) eczema so I simply had to share. After all, I gushed to the cashier in Target all about it when my mom and I cleaned out the store's supply.

Here's an instant coupon and another deal to try it out on the cheap! I love a good deal.

A Wee Tip: Make Flowers Last Longer

USC Alumni Event (leftover) centerpiece

If a lovely vase of flowers arranged just so brings a smile to your face, but you just wish you could make them last longer...

TIP:
Every day or two, cut off a half inch from the bottom of the stems. Cut at an angle since flowers can only absorb the water through the ends of the stems.

Resolutions in March

Most people tend to make resolutions once a year for New Year’s. But studies show that most people also break these resolutions before February even begins.

Instead, I like to space making resolutions out. I reassess and make resolutions for my birthday in April, the Jewish New Year (which typically falls in September), and the traditional New Year’s Eve.

However, this year, I have been too stressed over suddenly needing to move Home that I just put off the idea of making resolutions.

It’s an adjustment, is my answer to people who ask what it’s like to move back Home as a young professional adult.

Having skipped 2011 NYE resolutions, I’m working to get a head start on my birthday.

These resolutions are much more complicated, being tied to an age. I’ve always been a bit sensitive about my age — but not in the traditional manner.

As a kid, people always commented on how mature I was. The way I explain it, I grew up quickly and took on adult responsibilities and challenges early in life that made me a stronger person. I also worked all through high school and college.

Still, the “you’re just a kid” attitude associated with being in one’s 20s is irksome.

(Well, here’s the deal. In a month, I turn 29, the age when the average woman starts feeling old. And, yes, I may be once again living at Home, but I’m no kid. I’m a capable professional woman.)

And at least I’m not alone in having to move home, according to the New York Times and Times Magazine.

So, I’ve started praying again. And not just because I could really use G-d’s help after a run of difficult challenges, but because I remember being really happy as a kid during morning T’fillot.

(T’fillot means prayer in Hebrew. I went to a Jewish day school and some incredibly fond memories. Once we learned the Hebrew alphabet, our parents presented us with our own prayer books they’d decorated. Parents spent months working on these beautiful covers — I still remember the ballet shoes on my best friend J’s. We were six.)

All this praying gets me thinking about what I really want out of life — my purpose. It’s something I’ve considered a fluid concept before.

And now, as I find myself not where I thought I would be, I start to think about what I want.

The 20s stigma won’t apply much longer, as I’m now a month before my 29th birthday, something not lost on my resolutions. I resolve that I want:

• to design events
• to write books, articles and a personal blog
• to be a wife and a mother 
  (What did you expect? No comment, really? It may not be “PC” to say, but I’m excited to be a wife. I don’t just want to get married for the sake of it. I want to fall in love and marry my best friend, just like every other nice Jewish girl. And then I want to have kids. I’ve got time, but I like to plan ahead.)

Oh yeah, and I don't really want to be living back at Home or be in debt. And I'd like to be healthy and happy.

So, is that too much?

It’s not like I think I can just magic it all into place. I know it’ll take hard work — all of it. I’m working on a plan.

With years of journalism writing experience, I find it more difficult to write about myself. But that’s why I’m committing to by resuming this blog.

In Nosy Parker, I will share my (sometimes turbulent) journey of personal and professional growth, sprinkled with favorite recipes, projects and more.